We have all been asked the dreaded question, “So, tell me a little bit about yourself?”. This question usually comes up in a job interview, on a first date, when you’re introducing yourself to new people, you get the gist. The vast majority of us have to ponder about how we are going to answer this question before opening our mouths to speak. We have to decide what is most important to tell and what accurately defines us. After some thought, a response can sound somewhat like, “well, I am a mom of two kids and I’ve been working as a teacher for 4 years. My husband and I have our 5th anniversary coming up soon”. In the slight younger crowd we may say, “I recently graduated college and I moved to this town with my boyfriend to start my nursing career. I have two younger siblings who I love to go visit”. I would bet that when anyone asks “who are you” questions most of our responses will contain our career fields, family role, a recent accomplishment and maybe a hobby.

After my grandpa passed I very vividly remember having a conversation with my therapist questioning who I was. I was upset because suddenly I was twenty-three years old and had no idea who I was. To me, I was no longer a girlfriend, I wasn’t a student anymore, I felt like I was no longer a granddaughter with my grandpa passing and I was beginning to think that the only defining thing about me was that I was a nurse. Everyone else it seemed had so many roles and so many hats to put on. I only had one, my career. My peers had different labels which to me meant they had a more defined identity. I know that I am not the only person that associates these types of things with identity but, I am starting to find fault in doing so. Because, what happens when you relationship ends, you lose your job, you decide to stop taking college classes and you lose family members? What identity do you have left?

The idea that relationships with other people is what defines us is an unfortunate belief among our society. When we are asked to define ourselves very rarely are we able to do so without including other people. It can leave us feeling lost and unsure of ourselves, having the negative effect of making us feel like we do not have worth outside of the interactions we have with others. One of the first tasks I had to do on my journey of finding myself was learning how to define myself outside of the roles that I played along with learning about my identity outside of what others perceived me as. I decided to start writing a list of identifying and special things about myself as I noticed them. It can be a weird thing to “get to know yourself” when you’ve known yourself your entire life. However, very rarely do I believe that we think introspectively enough to really get to know ourselves.

I used to describe myself as “a lot”. How I would describe this is, I would say that I have a personality that people either like or don’t like. While this does sound like I am defining myself, I am not really getting to the root of who I am. I am simply focusing on how others perceive me. Recently, I have dug deeper into this and tried to decide what about me makes me a “special taste”. I realized that what I was describing as “a lot” was just my passion and enthusiasm for the relationships in my life. When I connect with someone I tend to “give it my all”. Whether it is a coworker, a friend, a romantic partner or a family member. I am not interested in surface level relationships in any aspect of my life. Another defining characteristic about myself is that I tend to have an interest in many things. I used to get angry at myself for being unable to just “stick to something”. Now I have accepted that I am a creative person who expresses myself through varying outlets. I see my “phases of hobbies” as a cycle which my creativity flows through.

Working to define who I am has been a major part of my journey to help me find my true self. The challenge to be introspective has allowed me to learn about myself in a way I haven’t before. I started my “I am” list and I encourage you to do the same to learn about yourself. These short statements are helpful because they are bold, to the point and most importantly, carry meaning. There is something empowering about making an “I am” statement about yourself. Feel free to share your I am statements with me, I would love to help you learn about yourself❤️

I am a lover

I am an explorer

I am a giver

I am spontaneous

I am forgiving

I am a creator

I am an entrepreneur

I am a baker

I am adventurous

I am a dreamer

I am a romantic

I am sentimental

I am an artist

I am nurturing

I am a conversationalist

I am bold

I am resilient

I am fragile

I am healing

Photography by Satin Hawk Design LLC