At the beginning of my summer a series of events happened that shook up my world a little bit. That is part of why I started this blog and what launched a truly epic summer. Whether anyone actually reads this blog doesn’t quite matter to me because, I was able to reconnect with my passion for writing that I remember having probably ten years ago. Verbally speaking your feelings can be difficult as all heck but for some reason typing them into an intricately woven metaphor is easier for me. I’ve always found is easier to sort through my problems or even my goals by writing them down or by making art. I have come to realize that writing is just another form of art which is why I am able to formulate my emotions that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to verbalize. Enough about that, here are thirty things I have learned as my summer of healing comes to an end. I’m still healing, its just fall now 🙂

1. It is important to pay attention to who is checking up on me.
2. Just because someone is blood, does not mean they can’t be toxic.
3. My goals and dreams matter and should be valued and appreciated by those around me even if they aren’t “the social norm”.
4. Healing is not linear and I will fall back onto bad habits now and again.
5. I will not fuck up something or someone that is right for me.
6. Don’t give too much of myself too soon. Let people find out why I am the way that I am, not everyone needs to know everything right away.
7. New connections can be scary but if I’m not willing to go in with an open mind I will self sabotage before I’m able to reap the rewards.
8. It is okay to not be what everyone expected me to be.
9. Not every guy’s attention that is given to me is with good intentions.
10. Friendships are work but, put the work into the friends who were there at my lowest without me having to ask them.
11. Money comes and money goes. Yes be financially responsible but expenses happen and stressing over money only prevents financial blessings.
12. If it doesn’t work out, it was because it wasn’t right for me. If I didn’t get an explanation that is the universe protecting me.
13. It is okay to be lonely. Sometimes I can sit in that loneliness and sometimes I can reach out to be comforted in whatever way I please. Both are accepted and both should not come with shame.
14. I have so much energy and potential. When poured into the right things will give bountiful rewards.
15. Sometimes I have to do drastic things for other people with no expectation of anything in return. If I want this to happen in my connections around me I have to be willing to be actively doing it for others.
16. Spirituality, religion, church, etc. It is important and should be prioritized to the best of my ability.
17. “It just feels right” is a good enough explanation to do something.
18. I need to speak my truth wherever I go and not dim myself for the comfort of others.
19. Apologizing takes courage but I will only feel growth and comfort from it afterwards.
20. Not everyone is going to like me.
21. What is meant to be will be. Stop obsessing over the life I want and start trusting the process of what feels right.
22. If people call me crazy, sometimes it just means they are scared of what I am doing or don’t understand what I am doing. Do not let their fear control my actions.
23. Stop making decisions around men. Point blank period, the end.
24. Not all connections are meant to last, some are meant to come and go.
25. When someone feels comfortable opening up to me, take the time to listen and inquire. If someone (even a stranger) feels comfortable talking to me, let them and set the time aside to be an active listener. It’s never bad to offer a hug at the of the conversation as well.
26. Nature is healing.
27. It’s okay to have conversations with myself in my head. Talk about what I am grateful for, what I want for my future, what I want to tell my friend at work the next day. This is nurturing to me and increases my sense of self.
28. I can have sex solely for pleasure or sex for intimacy. Which route I choose is my choice and should not come with shame.
29. I am going to attract what I am. If I am being a shitty person, I am going to attract shitty people.
30. There is ALWAYS room for growth. In twenty years if I believe I am the most self-aware and grown person with nothing else to work on I am wrong. There is always room to grow spiritually, emotionally and financially.

I hope you enjoyed this quick read. Four months ago I probably would not have been able to write any of this let alone come to the conclusions that I did. I encourage you to take the time to write some similar things down that you know to be true for yourself. The things that you have learned will be different than mine. Even if some of these are applicable to you, I encourage you to let this make you think and come up with a few meaningful statements for yourself.

Love,

Rhae 🙂

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