I’ve been wanting to write this article for some time now but never really got around to it. Yes, the title is a little abrupt but that was exactly my goal. At some point when we shift from teenager life to young adulthood we move out from home and start gaining some form of independence. With this independence we find ourselves exploring and testing the morals and beliefs we so innocently formed while growing up. Whether our families, cultures or even school influenced us to believe what we believe, we find ourselves unintentionally stepping away from everything, forcing us to stand for our beliefs on our own.

There are many studies on the statistics of young people continuing their faith and religious affiliations beyond high school and the numbers are telling. From a quick google scroll I found that almost seventy five percent of young people step away from church or their faith after leaving high school. While some people would find this incredibly troubling, I feel like it’s just part of our growth. One of the podcasters I listen to, Devin Cordele on “The Salty Podcast” recently said, “sometimes we have to deconstruct our faith to rebuild it again”. This stuck with me as I felt like it resonated with my own life and so many others my age. She emphasized the dangers that come with deconstructing our faith but how necessary it is for many of us to have a true relationship with God.

So why are young people stepping away? To me I can only look at my own experiences and the experiences of those around me but, I think the answer is complex and has many moving parts. First and most simple, young people become suddenly thrust into the “real world” where there is a lack of routine for their faith. We all attended youth group on Tuesday nights because that’s just what we did on Tuesdays and we went to that Youth Group because that’s the church our parents took us to on Sunday mornings. When we move out, are living in our own, or are preoccupied with college and new careers we forget that we need to instill some form of routine or else we risk “forgetting” about our faith. Secondly, is that we subconsciously feel the need to challenge our faith in order to continue believing in it. Why? Because at twenty years old we are “trying out” quite literally everything and testing new things in the world to figure out what we like and dislike. Despite what many people want to believe, religion is no exception to this. That’s a tough one to hear for many people but I find it an extremely necessary point. For me, I was able to do this “challenging” and found that my gut feeling kept me coming back when I strayed too far from my belief in God. Third and most impactful, young people take steps away from their faith because they don’t want to play into the hypocrisy. There is a lot of talk around the words “modern christianity” and I don’t think it is something to be feared. Unfortunately, a lot of church communities, especially in the generations before us, were afraid to publicly admit their sin and imperfections. Not only this but their churches that were suppose to be places without judgement, were full of side comments, sneers and extremely judgmental attitudes. Young people see this and often want to run the other way as we are being raised in a society where the social norm has become to be considerate and non-judgmental to others.

Now where does the “I Say Fuck” come into all of this? Over the past six months I have grown in my faith and felt closer to God more than I ever have before. It’s quite odd because I’ve only been to a Sunday morning service once, I’m riddled with a terrible potty mouth (nightshift in the ER doesn’t help), and I don’t have a church that I call home. This is not to say that regularly attending church is not important, however I have realized it’s only about ten percent of the pie. Ten percent that many people confuse to be the whole pie subsequently missing out on the sweet experience of eating the rest of the ninety percent of the pie. Instead of starting with a Sunday morning service then feeling like that was enough, I cracked open the Bible and started reading to get a better understanding of this religion I so effortlessly say I’m apart of., I started praying by myself at night to help me fall asleep, I forced myself to make time for acts of humility and kindness such as volunteering or helping out friends, and you know what? The craziest thing happened. I found myself drawing closer to God but not in the “conventional” ways that everyone else believes to be important. In my everyday life I sometimes I drink too much on a Saturday out with friends (what 24 year old doesn’t), I cuss more than I should, I often push the lines of trashy and classy with my clothing choices and I don’t have a church that I call “home” every Sunday.

People think that dressing conservatively, having a mouth that never says a cuss word and going to church every Sunday is what gives them fulfillment in their faith. To be quite honest, those are the most shallow things one can focus on to change. I find a deeper connection with my faith by focusing on the attributes of Jesus and how I can be more aligned with that in my daily life. Showing kindness to everyone despite their social status, giving the shirt off my back without thinking twice, listening without judgement when someone needs to vent, etc. I’m not perfect and many times I fall short however, I come back to “I love Jesus and I say fuck”. If at the end of all of this he decides to fix my potty mouth, so be it but that will just be the cherry on top ❤️