Family dynamics are pretty complex things in today’s day and age. One of the joys—I say that with sarcasm—of being a twenty something is experiencing a drastic change in our relationship with our parents. For some of us, this change can be attributed to growing pains and for others it is something much more significant. When it’s more than growing pains, it can often turn into broken or non-existent relationships, and lots and lots of stress.

For some, the separation is necessary and can help foster a healthier relationship in the future. I think when we step away from our family, specifically our parents, it is important to remember that the time we spent with them wasn’t all bad. Of course there are special circumstances but in many cases there’s always some sort of silver lining. The easiest way to see our parents when we don’t get to physically SEE them, is to acknowledge their influence on us. By being intentional about paying attention to the little “quirks” our parents give us, it helps to foster their involvement in our lives, even when they aren’t directly involved.

Whatever your parent situation, this can be a touchy subject but it’s one that many people my age deal with. Here’s my list of “influence” and I encourage you to write your own too.

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1. Cooking without a recipe. A staple activity in my household that I was always in awe of and now do without thinking about.

2. Letting friends stay with me when they need a place to stay.

3. 70s and 80s rock in the car. I hated listening to it as a kid, now it’s all I’ll listen to.

4. Calling my friends “bitch” as a term of endearment.

5. Writing thank you notes/cards. Took me A LONG time to get on this train. I’m still much more successful when I can physically hand a card to someone instead of mailing it.

6. Loving elephants.

7. Being a “jack of all trades”. I like to also term this my chronic hobby rotation.

8. Marinating steak in Lambrusco.

9. Hosting events and cooking way too much food for said events.

10. Strawberry picking, then making strawberry rhubarb pie.

11. Keeping a secret recipe box.

12. Laughing too loud

13. Talking at a decible slightly above what’s socially acceptable.

14. Being very resilient

15. Liking cats more than dogs