When people think about preparing a meal, theres usually a “standard” number of servings associated with the meal they want to make. In my head that standard number is either around four or two for more intimate circumstances. The most exciting part of cooking for most of us quickly becomes the part where we get to feed others. Love is put into our dishes that has been passed on from generation to generation. We cook for others explaining to them how our mothers used to make certain meals for us as kids that made us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The meals we make for others have deeper meaning to us than just ingredients off of a shelf. They mean that we are filling the souls of our loved ones with homemade meals. What happens then when there is no one to cook for?

All of the sudden the humming in the kitchen and the careful craftwork of testing new spices becomes less important. When there is no one to cook for, we stop dancing in the pantry and mealtime turns into a chore. When the only stomach in the room to fill is our own, the effort we once put into setting a table with an impressive spread seems pointless. Resorting to canned meals, take-out and soggy noodles is the solution we find ourselves so carelessly in. Eventually, the sad reality of this version of “cooking for one” starts to weigh on us. The loneliness sets in when the Chinese takeout that was suppose to be one meal, takes four to five days to finish. For me, the joy that came with cooking was always attributed to the people that I got to feed. However, soggy noodles was no longer an option and it became time to find joy in the loneliness.

Putting effort into what we make, when it is solely for our own enjoyment, can be daunting. This is especially true for those of us who feel love by giving and caring for others. Painting a picture for ourselves or in this case, cooking a full meal for no one but ourselves feels wrong. Learning that there are seasons of life when we have to be our own company starts with treating our company (ourselves) with the same hospitality that we treat our guests. I would not serve a boyfriend or a dinner party of friends Chef Boyardee three meals in a row, so why am I serving that to myself?

Putting love, effort and intention into cooking a meal for one is more than health consciousness. It’s about putting effort into yourself the same way that you put effort into others. Leaning into the loneliness to discover that you’re not alone because you can be your own company. And that company deserves a home-cooked meal.