Whitney Houston’s musical genius and powerhouse voice have a way of captivating any audience—whether it’s a stadium of thousands or just me, alone in my car, stuck in freeway traffic. When she sings, “Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade,” something stirs inside, and most of us feel that familiar tingle as we prepare to belt out the famous chorus at the top of our lungs. Lately, I’ve discovered that this iconic ’80s anthem can be sung with pure joy, or just as powerfully, with intense frustration—as if telling the universe, “Screw it, this is what I want!”

“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” was released in May 1987, reaching number one on the Billboard Top 100 in under two months. Was I alive in 1987? No—but I can imagine it was every bit the hit the charts say it was. Most of us recognize the song by its simple title, “I Wanna Dance With Somebody.” Yet, if you look it up, you might notice an additional phrase: “(Who Loves Me).” This subtle addition, echoed throughout the melody, speaks to the real essence of the song. It’s comical, almost like an afterthought tacked on, but it reveals the deeper plea behind the beat. This song isn’t just a call to dance, nor is it simply an invitation for a handsome man to sweep Whitney off her feet. “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” is a call for a love that lasts—a partner who’s more than just a dance.

The idea that love is a basic need might sound a little far-fetched, but it’s not too far off. For most of us, feeling loved by someone close makes us more productive, mentally stable, and optimistic about the future. This love doesn’t have to be romantic; there are many kinds of love.

Agape love, for instance, is unconditional, asking for nothing in return. It’s often the kind of boundless, selfless love we expect from our parents, even if we don’t always receive it. Then there’s Eros, a romantic love that ideally stems from Agape love, bringing physical affection, sensuality, and passion. Phila is the love we feel for friends, family, and even colleagues—a platonic, boundaried love that’s vital to close connections. Finally, Philautia is self-love, grounded in self-acceptance and self-worth. Recently, society has pushed the idea that we need limitless self-love and that we must be completely okay with ourselves before loving others. This standard—requiring perfection before being open to others—angers me because it’s unrealistic and may keep us from truly connecting…but I digress.

“I Wanna Dance With Somebody” is about wanting to go through life with someone who truly loves us back. Too often, though, we find ourselves dancing with people who offer no real love. We fall into this trap out of loneliness and longing, but what sense does it make to keep pretending?

At the song’s climax—my favorite part—Whitney repeats, “Don’t you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don’t you wanna dance?” I imagine her moving around a room, singing this to one person after another, almost frustrated: “You? You? Anyone? Someone say yes!” It captures the frustration of putting yourself out there and waiting for someone to reciprocate.

Many of us get tired of waiting and pull someone random to the dance floor, while others walk away, too defeated to try again. Some, though, learn to be content dancing on their own.

This is all metaphorical, of course. When we long for someone to “dance” with—to share our lives with—we can’t just pull someone in at random. We can’t shout that we want someone and grab the first person who seems suitable. If we do, we’re in for a rude awakening when we realize that person might not actually want to dance with us at all. It’s a disappointment we could have seen coming, knowing deep down we chose someone who didn’t truly want to be there with us.

Instead, maybe we should wait for someone who says they want to dance, someone who sings back to us with their own enthusiasm when we’re calling, “Don’t you want to dance? Say you want to dance!”

Now please listen to Whitney and scream passionately in your vehicle 🙂