Mistake #1

Allowing relationships that lacked a sense of direction determine my decisions. I think I can speak for most of us young women in that we have all made this mistake at least once. Whether you moved somewhere, or didn’t move somewhere, turned down an opportunity or settled for a relationship that would later be canned anyway, we have all become victim to this trap. It is so easy to get caught up in other people’s aspirations telling ourselves it’s okay for us to just go along for the ride. Instead of acknowledging that our passions may not fit our partners, friends or families timeline, we actively make decisions that are not in our best interest to try and make things fit.

Win #1

Leaving my hometown. Don’t get me wrong, I am SO DARN HOMESICK but, I not only moved out of my hometown, but moved to an entirely new social climate. My new town was much more populated and diverse than I was accustomed to, forcing me outside of a shell I didn’t realize I was so stuck in. The move was heartbreaking and was a difficult adjustment however, it makes trips home that much more special.

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Mistake #2

Not taking advantage of home ownership earlier. No but seriously…I did buy a home a pretty young age (21) but quickly sold that house. I had no idea how much the importance of low interest rates and programs such as FHA and USDA played into home buying in your twenties. Finding a reliable and affordable house during a time where mortgage interest rates are low is quite literally priceless.

Win #2

I moved to an area with affordable housing that is appreciating in value. Have I bought a house yet, no. Am I doing everything I can to try and make that happen, yes. A huge mistake that a lot of people my age make is that they move somewhere for a great job opportunity but forget to look at what it would be like to actually own something in that area. A job that pays you $20,000 more a year seems great, but is not great if the price of housing will forever be unattainable even in your so called “good salary”.

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Mistake #3

I spent too much time on dating apps. I find this hilarious that it’s even a listed mistake because I spent significantly less time on dating apps than the average person my age. Even with this being true, the summer I spent on dating apps was an absolute disaster. Not much good came out of it and I whole heartedly believe that if I channeled all my “heartbroken energy” into something productive or creative the outcome would have been magnificent. The only take away I got from endless swiping was as a bunch of weird stories and many questionable tears.

Win #3

Despite being on the dating apps, I didn’t jump into a relationship right away. I had my single era and I lived that era loud and proud for well over a year. As a “serial relationshipper”, I consider this a major win. Not only did I spend some time completely alone, I also spent some time going on dates and learning my likes and dislikes. After two long and serious relationships, it was hard to pinpoint what I wanted in a partner without describing every single characteristic of one of my ex-boyfriends. I had gotten so stuck in the relationship mindset that I forgot I needed to be picky.

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Mistake #4

I probably could have saved a little bit more money. Somehow twenty four year old me is much more responsible and rational than eighteen year old me. It’s like aging comes with wisdom? Or my prefrontal cortex is finally almost fully developed. Anyways, I have pretty strict restraints on my spending now but it was not always that way. I think about outfits I bought, gadgets I had, subscriptions I paid for a few years ago and I just think to myself…why??? Even if I only saved $600 of my hard earned bartending money I could use it now for something a bit more practical besides a 25th pair of shoes.

Win #4

I never let finances deter me from experiences I wanted to have. Every single dime I spent on travel, studying abroad, checking off a bucket list item, I do not regret. A close friend of mine told me once that they envy my ability to just “go”. That I have always been a “doer” without hesitation. Despite wishing that I saved more, I don’t regret my “just do it” attitude with wanted experiences because I have memories and stories to tell that I will have forever. I’ve been to more countries than some people will visit in their lifetime and I have checked off most of my bucket list. I’m not saying this to brag, but to say that when you are intentional about your wants, you can make a way for your desires to happen no matter what.

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Mistake #5 

Despite having a “just do it” attitude for experiences, my “just do it” mindset ends there. I frequently question and push off big life decisions. Such as grad school, moving, buying a house versus renting an apartment, pursuing a project idea, investing in stock, etc. I wish I wasn’t so hesitant when it came to the important things because looking back most of the time I would’ve majorly benefited if I just went for it. 

Win #5 

I took debt very seriously and did everything I could to control my debt throughout college. Very uncommon to have this mindset at eighteen but I always though this way. When picking a school to attend, I greatly considered the cost of school and my ability to receive scholarships there. I never took out more loans than I needed and I worked full-time throughout school to pay what I could out of pocket instead of taking out more loans. The money that was put aside for me for school (even though it didn’t cover anywhere close to four years of college tuition) I actually used for school or school related items such as books. I also never got a fancy car allowing me the flexibility to not have a car payment. I still proudly drive my fifteen year old car with all of her dents and bumper stickers. What does this leave me with now? An extremely affordable loan repayment plan with low interest rates, and no expensive monthly car payment eating up my paychecks. 

When we reflect on our mistakes I think it it’s important to also identify the things we got right. To give ourselves a pat on the back for messing some things up, but not everything. What are your mistakes? Or are you living the epitome of perfection that we are all striving for?