One of my favorite creators recently went through a breakup, citing disagreements over the biblical definition of love as the reason for the split. As I find myself currently falling in love with someone, it’s made me reflect on whether I truly understand what the Bible says about love—and whether the love I’m experiencing aligns with that.

There are many passages in the Bible that speak about love, but the two that stand out most to me are found in 1 Corinthians and Romans.

1 Corinthians

Love is the meaning behind actions.

This passage begins by explaining that love is the driving force behind all meaningful action. If I speak but do not have love, I am only noise. If I prophesy without love, I am nothing. Even selfless deeds gain me nothing if they are done without love. In the context of relationships, I see this as God warning us that “going through the motions” isn’t enough. Our actions must be rooted in love in order to have true value.

Love is described through its attributes.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

It’s easy to forget these words when we’re longing for companionship. We settle for a partner instead of waiting for someone who loves us as Christ does. When I read these attributes, I can think of more than one relationship I believed was love—but clearly wasn’t. Christ-centered love does not yell or scream. It does not hold grudges. It is not disrespectful or dishonorable, and it does not celebrate sinful behavior. Love that comes from God should make you feel grounded and safe.

Love endures.

“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.” (1 Corinthians 13:8-10)

The chapter before this discusses spiritual gifts, which makes this point even more powerful. After emphasizing the importance of spiritual gifts, God reminds us that love is greater still. These gifts are temporary, but love is eternal.

Love is mature.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)

This reminds us that we are not meant to keep making the same mistakes. When love faces hardship or adversity, it should be met with grace and maturity. There are no “boys will be boys” in the bible. We must hold ourselves and our partners to higher standards.

Romans 12

The next passage that speaks to biblical love is Romans 12:9. Though it comes before the Corinthians passage chronologically, it paints a vivid picture of love in action. It emphasizes love as a verb, not just a noun:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need…” (Romans 12:9-13)

In order for love to be sincere, it must follow these principles. Our partners should be drawing us closer to God, not pulling us away. This passage also makes it clear that love is more than just hope—it is being joyful in that hope. It is not just about having patience, but about being patient through pain. Love is more than prayer; it is being faithful in prayer, even when it seems our prayers are unanswered.

The next verses emphasize the selflessness required for love. Charity and hospitality should be foundational in a Christ-like relationship. And finally, Romans speaks of the peaceful nature of love:

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” (Romans 12:14-16)

In our romantic relationships, we must remember that Christ-like love demands peace and harmony. It’s not about who wins the argument—it’s about maintaining unity. It’s not about pride—it’s about humility and connection.

So often, especially as twenty-somethings longing for companionship, we struggle to discern who truly loves us. But Scripture makes it clear—not just what love is, but what love looks like. We just have to be quiet and willing enough to listen.