We accept the love we think we deserve.

We accept the love that we think will fulfill us.

That we think will fulfilll the void that we want to pretend isn’t there. Filling the void however is only temporary, eventually the water evaporates and the hole becomes more obvious than ever. If we are lucky enough the hot days don’t come as often, letting the water fester there a little longer. If we are unlucky, the sweltering heat takes the water we worked so hard to find in turn leaving us with only a few hours of satisfaction. A few hours of satisfaction for days and days of work.

When we are in this cycle, it’s almost too obvious that the answer to “fixing” the void isn’t by filling it. We put all of our energy and time into the temporary solution ignoring our gut telling us to try something different.

We look out on the dried up lake, cracking at the earth, taking up so much space and not fulfilling its purpose and we feel uncomfortable. We can’t ignore something so huge and so desolate, even if we try.

Eventually, we will get tired of filling the void with water only for it to be dried up in what seems like a matter of seconds. We will use the massive void that’s taking up so much space to our advantage and find a way to appreciate the heat. Planting trees and seeds that will grow into wildflowers that turn towards the sun. We will build a bridge that goes from point A to point B with stairs and walkways that allow us to explore the gaping hole up close instead of from far away. We will find comfort in knowing that our void needs water, but not as much water as we were previously trying to provide. Finally, we will stop trying to hide the void, making it a lake it was never suppose to be and instead transform it into a space where we can feel safe and seen.

Love doesn’t have to be temporary. But the wrong love always will be.